James, you are such a hot mess! Gotta love ya, your abs look great by the way... I'm full of jealousy over here! Oh well now off to eat a bucket of fried chicken to drown my sorrows in :-)
i watched this earlier when someone posted it in your comments the FUNNIEST shit ever... you're HILARIOUS James and the man who snags you is lucky. peace man
Not even sure if you will read this...I stumbled upon your blog through the miracles of hotlinks. Anyway, I have to confess that I don't know you -nor have I seen your work- but I was taken by a few of your entries in your blog. That, and the fact that you quote Yemin, was enough for me to write:
Good luck in your new endeavors with the beau and moving out of NYC (I think?). A quick thought about the struggles you faced with "friends" going after your current/ex. It's like this: When it comes to triumph, it's one thing to have conquered Rome, but to have done so AND personally dethroned Ceasar himself, that kind of prestige is pretty tempting. Sadly, I feel that you must (unfortunately) be careful what you confide in people until you know that they have no intention of hurting you. It seems to me that the life you've created for yourself has brought you a lot of power, privilege and advantage...but now it no longer serves your needs. I earnestly wish you well in the pursuit of the *new* things that seem to make you happy. Remember: What's past is prologue, your life is yours...from today forward you shape who you are becoming. So don't let others have power over you because of the choices you made in the past, or you'll never be able to grow into the next version of yourself.
You probably wont read this but I stumbled on your blog through google. I will be honest, at first it was through seeing some of your porn videos but then I googled you and found your blog.
I must say after reading your blog, I have seen that you are more than a sex object. You are actually a person facing some emotional problems and hates what porn has done to you. After reading your blog, I cannot watch any of your videos anymore because I am reminded about how much you hate it (porn).
I will continue reading and hope to post some comments in the future and all the best with you and your boyfriend. You deserve all the happiness you can get.
Hey! I just wanted to say I stumbled upon your blog and your MySpace music. I don't like to pass off advice or anything but I just wanted to say that you have so much going for you, in the film industry and beyond. It saddens me to see you so depressed at times. As an original Long Island boy, and now city boy -- I get overwhelmed too and I think I know where alot of it comes from. I know this will sound corny -- but just try to smile more and keep those that make you feel better about yourself closer to you. You've given so many people so much, do something for yourself that's going to make you happy.
Pornstars are not soulless, and throughout your blog you keep writing about all these reasons you want to give it up. On the contrary, you reach out to people that might do something horrible to themselves or others and keep their eyes glued to their TV or computer screen.
(LOL That last comment probably made me sound like a serial rapist or murderer, but I'm just trying to make a point that you bring joy to many people's lives.)
It's hard for me to write down everything I want to say in a comment box -- but I'll just close up this rambling message by saying...Do whatever makes you happy, but smile more. I know we've all got baggage. View your life from the exterior for a minute and really relish in the "pro's" not the "con's."
Hello, I just wanted to say God bless you and God does love you no matter what happens. He knows you better then anybody out there. No matter what anybody says God is Alive, and loves you! You are never alone. Just surrender your desires and issues to him and he will answer. Jesus is real and maybe you have heard this before but I guess you'll hear it again. God loves you know matter who you are, and wants to show you that. Just let him in your emotional heart and into your life. When your heart is ready to hear and receive from him he will show up, because he always honors his word and promise! People fail and make bad choices but God is always there. I may look like a hypocrite to some, but I don't care, I know I speak truth. Knowing God is the only thing that will fill the hole in our hearts that we long to fill. Nothing else is satisfying to our soul. It's NOT religion but it is a relationship with God. It is not about being a perfect person because we ALL have our issues and faults, but it's knowing Him and walking it out with Him in his understanding. Knowing who are true father is brings everything else into its place. This is a wounded and wounding world, and God is in the business of RESTORATION. Life and Death is very serious. I pray that you would hunger for the true Face of God! - Be Blessed in Jesus Mighty name and with much Love, Joshua
take care of yourself, hope things are going well in your life. i reckon your problem is that you are a nice guy trapped in a very tall good looking body ! so you attract lots of attention whether you want it or not. take more time for yourself. best regards.
For all the bitching you do about being a porn star. There's still a huge part of you that loves the attention it gives you. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting a video showing your abs off.
Hello Erik. I wanted to simply say happiness does exist. You might not find it in your currently lifestyle, as you put it. But we can be "happy, content, fulfilled". And why shouldn't you have your fair share of it... We are not the sum of all the things we did, but a life that we can be at peace with.
(From someone who read your blog and believes there is always hope) Mike (mlm944@yahoo)
We saw you at Toucan's in Palm Springs a couple of weeks ago. You looked as great in person as we had imagined you would be. Watched your video journal about Prague, which brought back memories of Prague Castle and the very hot sentry guard. Can't wait to see your new movie co-starring our other favourite, Francois Sagat.
Every single one of these comments about how hot you are is like a dagger into your soul...
You have tried writing a blog about how you are suffering from severe clinical depression resulting from:
(a) The vileness of the gay scene
(b) The body hatred everyone puts on to you (if you're hot then they don't need to be)
(c)Most likely undisclosed and horrific chid abuse when you were younger.
You continually go on about:
(a) How you hate the gay scene
(b) How porn has ruined your life
(c) How you want real love without the drama
(d) How nobody gets to see what you feel, even though you look like you are crying your eyes out on the inside
And yet you:
(a) Keep going back for more
(b) Moan about it over and over again
(c) Expect it to change and for you to suddenly get better magically without actually having the guts to leave it behind.
Seriously Eric, you know I had sympathy for you to begin with, I really did.
And then I watched Milk and listened to Sean Penn give his Oscar speech.
It is becuase of people just like you and the AIDS infested scene (which is not an accident) that people don't want gay marriage and basically continue to promulgate the hatred which you expereinced as a kid when you were being abused.
Seriously, what do you think when you watch Brokeback Mountain?
OOOH he looks soooo hot in that check shirt, shame about the shoes though.
What do you think when you watch Milk?
His hair is like SO flat. Why doesn't he like take some steroids?
43 comments:
haha, janice is such a stupid bitch.
I posted that video in the comments of your last post. Thanks for uploading it on your main blog.
Are you on Twitter? It would be great if you had a micro-blog as well.
You looked as hot as ever in the pix...
Hope you had a good time. Continued happiness with your bf
you're amazing - are you happy yet?
fun! hope you had a blast i'd love to go one day:)
James, you are such a hot mess! Gotta love ya, your abs look great by the way... I'm full of jealousy over here! Oh well now off to eat a bucket of fried chicken to drown my sorrows in :-)
Jesus Erik, u got 5 nominations, u r so lucky and great! kisses...
i <3 sister Roma.
You looked great James! Hope your still enjoying life with your bf.
We hope that video is your goodbye to that porn life you hate. Leaving on a high note- but still leaving.
Erik/James!
The way you talked about yourself in "What a shame (part 1)", I assumed you'd look like a giant hulking mess.
But in the Gayvn Awards pics you look great! Healthy and fit and built....oh my! You're being too hard on yourself.
Keep moving forward and upward and you'll do just fine!
-Dean
you must win all the prizes, you are the best!
great yellow t-shirt..
i watched this earlier when someone posted it in your comments the FUNNIEST shit ever... you're HILARIOUS James and the man who snags you is lucky. peace man
Good luck to you and all that you are planning for your future.
Eric,
Not even sure if you will read this...I stumbled upon your blog through the miracles of hotlinks. Anyway, I have to confess that I don't know you -nor have I seen your work- but I was taken by a few of your entries in your blog. That, and the fact that you quote Yemin, was enough for me to write:
Good luck in your new endeavors with the beau and moving out of NYC (I think?). A quick thought about the struggles you faced with "friends" going after your current/ex. It's like this: When it comes to triumph, it's one thing to have conquered Rome, but to have done so AND personally dethroned Ceasar himself, that kind of prestige is pretty tempting. Sadly, I feel that you must (unfortunately) be careful what you confide in people until you know that they have no intention of hurting you. It seems to me that the life you've created for yourself has brought you a lot of power, privilege and advantage...but now it no longer serves your needs. I earnestly wish you well in the pursuit of the *new* things that seem to make you happy. Remember: What's past is prologue, your life is yours...from today forward you shape who you are becoming. So don't let others have power over you because of the choices you made in the past, or you'll never be able to grow into the next version of yourself.
Thanks for reading, and good luck!
-Scot
Good to see you get less and less comments.
I guess people got sick of seeing you not change.
You say the same thing and do it all over again.
Michael Lucas is ugly and drunk and stupid.
Porn awards seemed shitty.
You looked stupid.
seems like bryan is trying pretty hard..
@Raul - HA HA HA HA HA! Couldn't have said it any better myself.
cigarette???
No smoking - bad hot man - bad bad bad hot man.
Hi Erik,
You probably wont read this but I stumbled on your blog through google. I will be honest, at first it was through seeing some of your porn videos but then I googled you and found your blog.
I must say after reading your blog, I have seen that you are more than a sex object. You are actually a person facing some emotional problems and hates what porn has done to you. After reading your blog, I cannot watch any of your videos anymore because I am reminded about how much you hate it (porn).
I will continue reading and hope to post some comments in the future and all the best with you and your boyfriend. You deserve all the happiness you can get.
get on twitter already!
you just keep getting hotter and hotter
just stop smoking
not cool at all, only an advice
roman is so fine too!!
hahha
both of u are hotttttttttt!
did I say that earlier?? hahaha
i'm glad that u are better, wish u the best james :)
kisses
I gotta say, Michael Lucas makes you look like Maya Angelou. You should always try to appear with him on video.
Jesus, what a fucking mess he is.
Hey! I just wanted to say I stumbled upon your blog and your MySpace music. I don't like to pass off advice or anything but I just wanted to say that you have so much going for you, in the film industry and beyond. It saddens me to see you so depressed at times. As an original Long Island boy, and now city boy -- I get overwhelmed too and I think I know where alot of it comes from. I know this will sound corny -- but just try to smile more and keep those that make you feel better about yourself closer to you. You've given so many people so much, do something for yourself that's going to make you happy.
Pornstars are not soulless, and throughout your blog you keep writing about all these reasons you want to give it up. On the contrary, you reach out to people that might do something horrible to themselves or others and keep their eyes glued to their TV or computer screen.
(LOL That last comment probably made me sound like a serial rapist or murderer, but I'm just trying to make a point that you bring joy to many people's lives.)
It's hard for me to write down everything I want to say in a comment box -- but I'll just close up this rambling message by saying...Do whatever makes you happy, but smile more. I know we've all got baggage. View your life from the exterior for a minute and really relish in the "pro's" not the "con's."
Best wishes and continued success.
Hello, I just wanted to say God bless you and God does love you no matter what happens. He knows you better then anybody out there. No matter what anybody says God is Alive, and loves you! You are never alone. Just surrender your desires and issues to him and he will answer. Jesus is real and maybe you have heard this before but I guess you'll hear it again. God loves you know matter who you are, and wants to show you that. Just let him in your emotional heart and into your life. When your heart is ready to hear and receive from him he will show up, because he always honors his word and promise! People fail and make bad choices but God is always there. I may look like a hypocrite to some, but I don't care, I know I speak truth. Knowing God is the only thing that will fill the hole in our hearts that we long to fill. Nothing else is satisfying to our soul. It's NOT religion but it is a relationship with God. It is not about being a perfect person because we ALL have our issues and faults, but it's knowing Him and walking it out with Him in his understanding. Knowing who are true father is brings everything else into its place. This is a wounded and wounding world, and God is in the business of RESTORATION. Life and Death is very serious. I pray that you would hunger for the true Face of God! - Be Blessed in Jesus Mighty name and with much Love, Joshua
I think sometimes it's best that porn stars keep quiet as it ruins the illusion
take care of yourself, hope things are going well in your life. i reckon your problem is that you are a nice guy trapped in a very tall good looking body ! so you attract lots of attention whether you want it or not. take more time for yourself. best regards.
You got interviewed and all you did with it was rag on an ex-supermodel in her 50s.
For all the bitching you do about being a porn star. There's still a huge part of you that loves the attention it gives you. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting a video showing your abs off.
hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....
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Watch Natsha Naked!
Dear Eric,
Your pain is riven across your face.
All anybody ever cares about or comments on is how 'hot' you are.
Leave this poisonous world behind before you turn into a weed.
It will consume you until you are an HIV riven corpse.
http://www.psychoanalysis.org/tandr-center-who-adult.html
Hello Erik.
I wanted to simply say happiness does exist. You might not find it in your currently lifestyle, as you put it. But we can be "happy, content, fulfilled". And why shouldn't you have your fair share of it... We are not the sum of all the things we did, but a life that we can be at peace with.
(From someone who read your blog and believes there is always hope)
Mike (mlm944@yahoo)
We saw you at Toucan's in Palm Springs a couple of weeks ago. You looked as great in person as we had imagined you would be. Watched your video journal about Prague, which brought back memories of Prague Castle and the very hot sentry guard. Can't wait to see your new movie co-starring our other favourite, Francois Sagat.
Every single one of these comments about how hot you are is like a dagger into your soul...
You have tried writing a blog about how you are suffering from severe clinical depression resulting from:
(a) The vileness of the gay scene
(b) The body hatred everyone puts on to you (if you're hot then they don't need to be)
(c)Most likely undisclosed and horrific chid abuse when you were younger.
You continually go on about:
(a) How you hate the gay scene
(b) How porn has ruined your life
(c) How you want real love without the drama
(d) How nobody gets to see what you feel, even though you look like you are crying your eyes out on the inside
And yet you:
(a) Keep going back for more
(b) Moan about it over and over again
(c) Expect it to change and for you to suddenly get better magically without actually having the guts to leave it behind.
Seriously Eric, you know I had sympathy for you to begin with, I really did.
And then I watched Milk and listened to Sean Penn give his Oscar speech.
It is becuase of people just like you and the AIDS infested scene (which is not an accident) that people don't want gay marriage and basically continue to promulgate the hatred which you expereinced as a kid when you were being abused.
Seriously, what do you think when you watch Brokeback Mountain?
OOOH he looks soooo hot in that check shirt, shame about the shoes though.
What do you think when you watch Milk?
His hair is like SO flat. Why doesn't he like take some steroids?
Get a fucking grip, seriously.
What is the song playing in the backround just before the interview does anyone know?
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