I thought you gave up drugs? I'm curious, what do you get out of doing drugs, like GHB? What is the end result? Where does it take you, what does it get rid of, how does it help you? What does it leave you with? I really hope you find a new coping mechanism, stop wasting your life. You seem to be stuck in a rut, you need to figure out a way to get out of it, and you need your head clear to do that.
You said a few months ago that your contract was up in August, with your studio, are you completely out of the porn biz now?
My choice to use GHB is well thought out. Your body produces GHB naturally, it help promote lean muscle mass and helps the body produce more growth hormone. The effects if taken correctly only last 2-3 hours and then your are back to normal. Knowing i can't really function in social setting without being fucked up. I choose to do Ghb cuz i rather not poisen my body using alcohol. I work to hard to maintian my muscle, i rather not poisen them. No hang overs also. Its win win.
Wasn't sure what GHB was, so I went to the most trusted source for info on the web: Wikipedia (Where knowledge goes to die!).
Anyways, it treats depression and boosts athletic performance and libido. Bad side is that it can knock you out or kill you if you take too much, which is kind of a bummer. Anyways, please use it wisely!
Your being deceived and you know it. There is an interesting dichotomy going on here. On the one hand there is this great magnetism towards destructive behaviors physical and emotional. On the other hand there is a realization that these are destructive behaviors with overwhelming depressing consequences. There is a great struggle of the self to overcome and seek out a better future.
So here in lies the conflict of the man. And here in lies the reason to post this photo. It's a representation of this inner battle. In looking beyond this and seeing a deeper meaning one could say that each and every turn every man makes in life always , no matter what, results in making a decision between two distinct roads. The decision to go in one direction or the other and the vastly differently consequences of each. Behind these daily decisions there is a powerfull drawing and attraction to choosing the right path. Ignore it...sure. Supress it...sure. Many men do and take great pains to do so. But it is always there and will never give up. No matter what you do or how far you go, it will always exist. Every man that has ever lived and drew breath will deep down recognize this. It's worth paying attention to that which guides you and draws you to something more brighter. Have the confidence to see through your current feelings and circumstances and take the first step to building a life on a firm foundation. Do this and the confidence in social situations will come. This is the brighter path.
you "work too hard" on ur body? how exactly? by sticking needles into ur arms and doing roids? u do drugs b/c ur an addict. ur depressed b/c u have very deep issues that u haven't tackled with a professional yet. U hate ur life b/c u surround urself with vapid morons and work in the adult film industry.. doesn't seem that hard to figure out.
James, that pic is just badass. You almost look like a black dude. Anyways, alot of dudes look at muscley porn stars as gods. So when you are there smooching a bottle of GHB, you're basically endorsing it for all guys that look at you as a role model. Yes, I realize that's crazy, but when you see a really hot guy like yourself, people want to be like you. In my best mom-voice -- please think about other kids ok? There're not going to have things as thought out as you have, and might do something stupid.
you arent doing your body any good by super-saturating it with ghb..
but i mean it is easy to take advantage of your little mind when you're fucked up, parade you around like the goof you are and then get you to crawl back, only to kick you away and crush a boot in your face.
but we'd fuck later and make up, i think i get cha... ;)
OK for those guys asking questions...some other thoughts about GHB from a guy who's also taken it, "fallen out" at least once (a common term for OD'ing on G) and has helped many guys who have also fallen out on G. First, you never know the strength of it since its "homemade" plus it takes a while to hit you so many guys take more and more thinking that it isn't working (or not working fast enough) and then BAM...you're totally fucked up and often out of your own control. Not fun for you or any one that you're with (who either has to babysit you until you come around or call an ambulance). And potentially dangerous, even deadly. [And what's up with the asshole who claimed that a fellow gay guy DYING on G "ruined it for the rest of us?!] Simply, you can stop breathing or choke on your own vomit or tongue if you take too much and are not being monitored. Plus falling out on G is easier than many other party drugs, esp. for guys who don't know what they're doing. And if you DO take it, DON'T drink alcohol at all..it's a chemically toxic mix. I could say some other stuff like it allows unsafe sex and blah, blah, blah, but basically it's the poor man's X (or E for you East Coast guys). Seems that James may be just looking for that cheap high and trying to justify it here for all you kids. Oh and a final thing...it tastes like shit. No way around that. Your turn, porn dude...and why not consider raising your hourly rate so you can afford better party chems?
Ummm, did anyone stop to think that maybe it's just a joke pic? Get off your high horses, he does have a friggin sense of humor! JEEEZZ. I got a good laugh out of it!
Can't say (or tell from his original pic and follow-up comment) if Erik/James is joking, but definately CAN tell that some of his readers ARE taking him (and GHB) seriously. Hence my info. Take it, leave it, I honestly don't care, just don't drop dead out of ignorance.
Truckproductions: steroids can be shot in your arm but if you knew anything about the drugs they normally get shot in your ass. I also assume you think they are taken intravenuosly, which is so wrong, it just proves you are judging something you do not understand. Steroids are not a miracle drug. Its not as easy as shooting up steroid and automatically looking amazing. They body is a science which take a long time to fully understand and master. Yes steroid is a great boost but they are not the only thing needed in order to achieve a great look. Anyways, fuck you, and read a little more before making bullshit judgements.
Muscle dad: I have tried all other drugs and they, to me are also like poisening your body. I've lost 20 pounds after a crystal binge. Like i said i put to much time into my body to poisen it. Call G cheap all you want but to pick up once Oz when you dont know how to make it or a good bulk dealer, goes for 70-100 bucks here in nyc, and and anywhere form 30- 50 in LA so please. Not cheap if you dont have the right connections. _______________________________
Oh and i'm noit sure why i posted the pic, i think cuz that goddamnb big jug o' ghb has been the olny thing to put a smiloe on my face in a couple days, i thought i would share it with you guys.
I know there is no E in jug, i just spelled it with 2 GG
Hey, at least there's SOMETHING in your life right now that will make you smile. Hopefully at some point you'll be able to leave the GHB behind and enjoy yourself without it. Until then, enjoy it while you need it and be as safe as you can be with it.
Also, It's funny that someone has "If you can't take a joke get the fuck out my house" and then lectures you about your use of GHB.
Also, I've tried GHB because I was told it used to be sold as renutrient to help sleep (which is when your body repairs itself and builds muscle). I have to admit, I looked pretty damn good after having just done it the once.
PS-To everyone who is going to tell what an ass I am, I'm looking at it from the sense of humor standpoint. I mean seriously, you have to admit it's pretty damn funny.
so let me get this straight.. the only issue u had with my message was how you take ur steroids? man u have got ur priorities way outta whack.. if anyone needs to dig a little deeper it's u. WHY AREN'T YOU TAKING SOME REAL STEPS AT CHANGING AND GETTING YOURSELF SOME REAL HELP.. CALL A COUNSELING CENTER TODAY.. U can't beat this on ur own. u will continue to self destruct and whine and complain on here looking for others to give u reassurance that ur ok.. it's just another addiction.. attention is like a drug. U are wuss for not getting into long term therapy and working out ur issues. Ur scared and a baby. Grow up. GET HELP. seriously, it's not meant as a cut on u. U need someone with more understanding of how the brain, feelings, and life work..
This blog has a recurring theme: Should I do drugs or stay sober? Should I be co-dependent on my ex-bf or move on? Should I keep doing porn or get out of it?
Basically, should I hurt myself or heal myself?
Wow, if only I had such easy choices to make in my life! I totally envy your situations (but not how you handle them).
James, every time I begin to think there is something slightly redeeming about you, you go and post something like that picture and just prove again what an asshole you are.
We get it -- you hate yourself. It's tough. But maybe if you stopped doing shitty things like taking pride in the fact that you're a drug addict, you'd hate yourself a little less.
Truck Productions said it best: Grow up.
P.S. The word is spelled "poison." It's a word you should be all too familiar with.
"You know everyone has their certain level of bullshit they never tell anyone. Your friends, your Bf, your family members, they all have a dark side. But they all sleep fine at night cause they do their best at keeping whatever their perversion or dirty little secret, basically just that, by keeping it a secret." - This is good, keep going with this thought. Expose the hypocrisy. I like it, this is the first time I responded to what you say and relate to you as a human being. Rather then this over sexed porn star. Seriously, keep going with it.
Erik, you mentioned that you can't seem to function socially without additional chemical help, can you explain this to me? My ex boyfriend was in the adult enterntainment industry and also an extremely attractive body builder(would turn heads everywhere we went). What I never could understand with him is he also felt he could not socially interact without the need for his drug of choice. He could never really explain himself to me and i think i could never really understand him which made him feel even more isolated. Also I was almost the exact opposite to him so could not really put myself in his position. P.S. (I was with him for 15 codependant years but was hardest thing in my life to break up with him so i disagree with the reader who said all your choices are so easy)
everyone needs to chill the fuck out. GHB was originally used to be a muscle stimulant/relaxer for body builders. Then some people thought it would be great to get high off of or slip in someones drink and rape them.
Now for all the posters judging. Damn what is wrong with you people? Give advice when it's asked for people. This is a BLOG he's just giving a piece of his life for you guys to see. He didn't ask for a fucking group therapy session. And even if you did give some advice, do you honestly think he'd take it? I don't think he's as gullible as to believe what some self righteous prick behind a computer screen thinks about him. You're not his friends, you're not his family, you're not even the guy who he bought that GHB from. Stop fucking judging...period
I have question for u regarding GHB. I am interested in using the GHB as 1 of my muscle supplement... I want to gain more weight and lean muscle..i am 5'11...162 lbs, work out 3-5 x a week.... I read that GHB good for sleep apnea and muscle relaxer..... Well i don't eat a lot (3-4 times a day w/ xtra egg protein shake..btw i am lactose intolerant0. So my question where can i get the legal GHB? Can i ask my primary doctor (PCP)to prescribe it to me?
Erik/James isn't just a guy with a blog. He's a porn star. And a pretty major one, at that.
In our community, that qualifies as a celebrity, i.e. someone people admire and look up to. (One may argue whether that's a good thing or not, but regardless, that's the reality.)
And while I admire his bravery in opening up his life to the public and chronicling his struggles with drugs, porn, relationships, etc., there's a line crossed when he holds up a giant bottle of GHB and essentially proclaims, "This is good."
What if instead of GHB he had held up a bag of crystal? True, crystal is a more pernicious drug than G, and it destroys far more lives.
But the fact is, people have died from G. It is a wildly unpredictable drug that requires serious disipline to use properly -- something most urban gay men in the circuit milieu utterly lack.
It is therefore irresponsible for him to promote the use of G.
Moreover, it's a betrayal of himself and his own stated commitment to cleaning up his act. That to me is the biggest disappointment.
Rudy: Ghb will not really make you gain weight. I would suggest first changing your diet, EAT LIKE A HORSE, eat to gain. 6 meals a day, and make sure to get 1gram of protien per 1 pound of body weight a day. Mix in with the primary body building supplements, BCAAS, creatine, glutamine, NO, fish oil, vitamin C blh blah blah and see what happens. A doctor will not prescribe ghb, i have never even heard of medical grade GHB, its considered a controlled substance, its like asking your doctor to prescribe you cocaine.
Adam Sank, if you honestly think of porn stars as celebrities than you got it worse than James. Porn stars help me get off when I need to, their services is not an art form nor is it considered to be in good taste. But it takes care of a primal urge. It's people like you who perpetuate the stereotype of Porn Stars as Celebrities.
Now onto this drug issue. First off, if you haven't noticed his humor from his blogs you would know it's just sarcasm and narcissism at it's finest. If anyone is dumb enough to see that picture and take GHB and OD from it, I say one less dumb fuck on this Earth.
"What if instead of GHB he had held up a bag of crystal? True, crystal is a more pernicious drug than G, and it destroys far more lives."
He didn't have Meth so stop assuming it's just as worse if he did. And if he did who cares? It's his life and ultimately his choice. He's not a kid folks, a grown man makes mistakes. Again I will say he never made this Blog to ask for advice. It's just a introspect into his life, which I find interesting and quite refreshing.
A fucking drug addict fails many times, they will always be a recovering addict. They will fall off the wagon, but instead of pushing them off and not letting them back on. Try accepting there flaws and let them try again. He could have easily kept this to himself, but being candid about his issues gives him more balls than anyone of you negative posters.
He never made himself to be the spokesperson for a drug free America, stop treating him like one.
The only reason I read James blogs is because I can relate to his issues, and he has great musical taste.
agree with adrenaline199, hes got great musical taste..
all i got to say is do what makes u happy. if that bottle puts a smile on your face then enjoy it. its your body you should be free to put what you want in it. if ppl judge you for what you do to urself then thats their problem...
"I am but a man But a proud, proud man Silver bells that line the way Through baited trails. We’ll find you there"
Hey Erik - I stumbled across your blog completely by accident today. I've never even heard of you or seen any of your movies. I live in Manchester in the UK and was lucky enough to 'marry' (or more accurately become a civil partner to) my long term boyfriend of over 17 years on 21st Dec 2005(thank you Tony Blair!) All I know of you is from reading your blog, and reading them makes me think that you sound like a remarkable young man and it would be something to know you in life, to know your heart and your mind. I believe in random acts of kindness so I wanted to post this message to you and to say that you bring the poem 'If' by Rudyard Kipling to my mind. Kipling was very proud that his son went off to World War I despite having very bad eyesight. He died in the trenches and Kipling never forgave himself. Maybe the fact that I'm older than you (43 in fact) makes me understand a little of what Kipling meant and what you undoubtedly have the potential to do. Look after yourself and take care - Jamiex
'If' by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream--and not make dreams your master, If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much, If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
OK...gonna weigh in again. Gay porn guys ARE gay celebs. Hence why they make public appearances and draw "crowds" to bar nights, IML, Folsom, pool parties, etc...and are the subject of numerous other blogs. And also why, in part, Erik/James is apparently having problems finding regular guys to relate with when he goes out and about...whether to the gym or a bar. Many gay men put them on pedestals. Adrendaline199 if you don't view porn guys this way, well I think that's healthy and good. And like you, I just use porn and the guys in them to take care of those primal urges. But trust me, others look up to those like Erik/James beyond just being a way to get cum from their nuts into their hands. Is it "right", no. Does it exist and should Erik/James realize this and show some responsibility before posting a "humorous" pic of him kissing a bottle of GHB? Probably so.
And I don't think anyone other than Erik/James truly knows his motivation for this blog or any of his postings...and that assumes that even he does. I do happen to believe that he is looking, in part, for therapy of a type...whether it's affirmation or condemnation of his acts or just further ego-stroking that people give a shit what he's thinking...he's looking for a reaction. My partner, btw, just thinks he posts to get customers. Another, more cynical, viewpoint for sure, but that's why, in part, I love him.
Gay guys who are into drugs and partying are the losers of our tribe. Ok, maybe they can get away with it in their twenties, I guess it's forgivable. But come on, you are totally going to turn into one of those aging drug addled Hiv pos 40 something that look 50, who EVERYONE shuns. Gross. Like those treasure island dudes.
Who wants to take bets that this guy ends up in sleazy bareback porn with the next 3-5 years?
When does your contract end skank hole? You'll be taking loads from tweaked out 50 year olds who look like beaten down dogs in no time yet! Worse yet, maybe you'll be the pig eating the frozen cum sickle. barf
I hope you are taking these comments as a wake up call. You're seriously going to turn into a total looser, and it looks like you are already dangerously close.
Why not just stop whining like a little bitch, stop doing drugs, get into another career, spend some money on a psychologist, MOVE out of NYC, and get your fucking shit together. The drama is bullshit, and only helps you avoid taking responsibility for your actions and future. It's a lot easier doing what you are doing......it is weak. Do something that takes some effort and may be hard. It really is the only way you are going to get out of this place you are in. The longer you stay there, the more work it is going to take to climb out. Stop digging and get out of your hole (he he) asshat.
Erik, don't defend yourself to all these people. Do what you do and live your life. I think you seem cool and just as fucked up as everyone else. Just live man.
I agree. Whether or not you believe it James, you're a celebrity. Weird, I know, but maybe you can use it to help others. Sure, porn helps us get off, but if people can't tell the difference between what they see on screen and real life, they really probably shouldn't be watching it to begin with.
And igbee, a wake up call would probably involve some sort of self evident, objective truth. They don't involve calling someone a skank hole. Just sayin'.
I just found this blog thing recently. I'm impressed by your honesty. I just hope that you outgrow the drug and steroid thing. You're overexposed in the Falcon videos and I'm sure you don't have that much more time left before they're going to start promoting someone else. Better start thinking about the future. Its coming whether you're ready for it or not. Good luck.
Hey, guy. I've always admired you. I'm actually a little surprised at some of the sad/negative things I'm reading in your blog. From everything I've seen of your personality, you're one hell of an awesome guy. Your life seems to be so very interesting, if a bit torturing at times.
Hey, I was reading a bit earlier in your post about guys telling you "you're so hot" and bullshit. I'm going to sound cocky, but yes, I can relate. When you get told you are hot so many times, it just becomes like blah blah bullshit. Yes, you KNOW that you are hot. You don't need people to tell you that. And if they do, you really wish they'd come up with something halfway original. Or something to make you laugh.
Hot guys are also unapproachable. At least, by the people you want to approach you. The guys who you want to approach you never do. Part of it is just being good looking. Sure, part of it is being a porn star (and these are the examples that stick in your mind).
(Myself, I kind of put up a shield as being unapproachable. Which works from keeping most of the trolls away, but at the same time, I'm a bit on the shy side, and usually just can't approach strangers and chat things up.)
Some people are afraid to approach you for fear of looking so obvious to you (and to others). (Why would he want to talk to ME when he can get any guy he wants?) "He'll know that I'm just talking to him because I want in his pants." Being a good looking guy makes it harder to be friends with (in the gay world, anyhow).
I'm not sure I'm all that great on advice for you. Move to somewhere different where you can get away and somewhat start anew? Wear a t-shirt that says in big letters, "Comes over and talk to me. I'm actually kinda friendly"? I don't know you well enough to say, but part of what would seem to be the ideal solution would be to face a little bit of rejection and just strike out and talk to others that you'd wish would talk to you. (For me, that's tough, I'll admit.)
Seriously, dude. You're full of win and awesome. You just need to strike out and do something a little different.
Also: sorry that Gawker is giving you such a hard time. I always liked reading some of the Gawker Media Network blogs, but I never though of it from the perspective of the person being talked about.
I never said you were MY role model, you big dumb horse. What I actually wrote was as follows:
"In our community, that qualifies as a celebrity, i.e. someone people admire and look up to. (One may argue whether that's a good thing or not, but regardless, that's the reality.)"
Muscled Dad is apparently the only commentator intelligent enough to get my point.
Of course you're a celebrity. Why ele would so many people be reading your blog? Why would you be guest-hosting radio shows on Sirius? Why would Gawker be reporting on your whereabouts?
As for me, I don't look up to porn stars. Nor do I look down on them. It's a job, and if you enjoy doing it (which you apprently do not), more power to you.
But I do look down on guys in their mid-20s who act like reckless, obnoxious children and then encourage others to follow their example.
adam sank: yes my comment was addressing what you said, but the comment was meant for everyone. Your so smart, you couldnt figure that out?
Xplodinb0y: your mom is going to get mad if she knew you were wasting time reading my blog instead of doing your homework. Stop being a little bastard.
Thanks for your answer man. I really aprreciate it.I have been trying to eat more meals with some multvitamin now...and working out too... Btw, Damnnn!!!! some of u guys are so HARSHHH here. Have a good day ya'lll
Hi Mr Rhodes...I've been a big fan of yours for a while now and can honestly say how sad I am to read more in depth about you and your life and career. Although I feel guilty since I put more stock into personal conversation versus comptuer reading, I can't help but feel sorry for the hurt you go through at times. I guess that's the romantic side of me...or...years of going through the same thing myself. I'm SURE you heard it before, but live life to its fullest. Enjoy the sex you have, the conversations you experience and company you keep around you; it only comes but once. There may be a lot of self-centered assholes in the bunch, but there will always be us few romantics to ease the pain. I'll be thinking of you and throwing nothing but happy thoughts your way. Hopefully we'll get to chat more....in the meantime, smile....lord knows ya got a nice one to show off! Take care, handsome!
james james james. you are a hooker yourself. you are a sociopath. you manipulate people so they feel sorry for you and think...oh this roid head want to make me feel like a lady...hes a fucking fisting bottom fyi---unless youre paying him...and then you try to ruin them......and usually do......james wants to be seen and noticed....just ignore this toxic peice of shit. you are a sociopath. from the moment you told me you get hard ons when someone cries in front of you. or when you were fucked on fire island bareback by 16 people on crystal meth. are someone who admitted to having anal sex with over 1,500 people by the age of 24.. you are in fact inhuman and not in a cool death metal trent reznor way. stay away from this fucked up loser and look up the term "sociopath" you will know all you need to know about this SOCIOPATH- james / erik..it all comes out in the end james.....all of it
66 comments:
OK man, what is your deal? Are you hoping for an early death wish?
I thought you gave up drugs? I'm curious, what do you get out of doing drugs, like GHB? What is the end result? Where does it take you, what does it get rid of, how does it help you? What does it leave you with? I really hope you find a new coping mechanism, stop wasting your life. You seem to be stuck in a rut, you need to figure out a way to get out of it, and you need your head clear to do that.
You said a few months ago that your contract was up in August, with your studio, are you completely out of the porn biz now?
My choice to use GHB is well thought out. Your body produces GHB naturally, it help promote lean muscle mass and helps the body produce more growth hormone.
The effects if taken correctly only last 2-3 hours and then your are back to normal. Knowing i can't really function in social setting without being fucked up. I choose to do Ghb cuz i rather not poisen my body using alcohol. I work to hard to maintian my muscle, i rather not poisen them.
No hang overs also. Its win win.
maybe you'll let me try it sometime - missed you last week, but fear not my friend, I'm not giving up on you that easily!
Just be careful not to o.d. (over-do). xx
GHB does what when you take it?
Wasn't sure what GHB was, so I went to the most trusted source for info on the web: Wikipedia (Where knowledge goes to die!).
Anyways, it treats depression and boosts athletic performance and libido. Bad side is that it can knock you out or kill you if you take too much, which is kind of a bummer. Anyways, please use it wisely!
(And P.S. LUCKIEST. BOTTLE. EVS. That is all)
got GHB?
you're constantly playing with fire, you'll get burned someday. be careful..
http://www.aafp.org/afp/20001201/2478.html
Your being deceived and you know it.
There is an interesting dichotomy going on here.
On the one hand there is this great magnetism towards destructive behaviors physical and emotional.
On the other hand there is a realization that these are destructive behaviors with overwhelming depressing consequences. There is a great struggle of the self to overcome and seek out a better future.
So here in lies the conflict of the man. And here in lies the reason to post this photo. It's a representation of this inner battle.
In looking beyond this and seeing a deeper meaning one could say that each and every turn every man makes in life always , no matter what, results in making a decision between two distinct roads. The decision to go in one direction or the other and the vastly differently consequences of each. Behind these daily decisions there is a powerfull drawing and attraction to choosing the right path. Ignore it...sure. Supress it...sure. Many men do and take great pains to do so. But it is always there and will never give up. No matter what you do or how far you go, it will always exist. Every man that has ever lived and drew breath will deep down recognize this. It's worth paying attention to that which guides you and draws you to something more brighter. Have the confidence to see through your current feelings and circumstances and take the first step to building a life on a firm foundation. Do this and the confidence in social situations will come. This is the brighter path.
DRINK UP!
Do you make the GHB or buy it? I used to get Revivrant and I think Blue Wave. The stuff was great but some kid died and ruined it for everyone.
you "work too hard" on ur body? how exactly? by sticking needles into ur arms and doing roids? u do drugs b/c ur an addict. ur depressed b/c u have very deep issues that u haven't tackled with a professional yet. U hate ur life b/c u surround urself with vapid morons and work in the adult film industry.. doesn't seem that hard to figure out.
James, that pic is just badass. You almost look like a black dude. Anyways, alot of dudes look at muscley porn stars as gods. So when you are there smooching a bottle of GHB, you're basically endorsing it for all guys that look at you as a role model. Yes, I realize that's crazy, but when you see a really hot guy like yourself, people want to be like you. In my best mom-voice -- please think about other kids ok? There're not going to have things as thought out as you have, and might do something stupid.
its that you buy such large quantities.
you arent doing your body any good by super-saturating it with ghb..
but i mean it is easy to take advantage of your little mind when you're fucked up, parade you around like the goof you are and then get you to crawl back, only to kick you away and crush a boot in your face.
but we'd fuck later and make up,
i think i get cha... ;)
i don't understand why people are so mean to you. what did you do?
and i agree, i'd rather do select drugs then drink. safer to drive on and you don't get sick.
The bottle is missing a nipple.
OK for those guys asking questions...some other thoughts about GHB from a guy who's also taken it, "fallen out" at least once (a common term for OD'ing on G) and has helped many guys who have also fallen out on G. First, you never know the strength of it since its "homemade" plus it takes a while to hit you so many guys take more and more thinking that it isn't working (or not working fast enough) and then BAM...you're totally fucked up and often out of your own control. Not fun for you or any one that you're with (who either has to babysit you until you come around or call an ambulance). And potentially dangerous, even deadly. [And what's up with the asshole who claimed that a fellow gay guy DYING on G "ruined it for the rest of us?!] Simply, you can stop breathing or choke on your own vomit or tongue if you take too much and are not being monitored. Plus falling out on G is easier than many other party drugs, esp. for guys who don't know what they're doing. And if you DO take it, DON'T drink alcohol at all..it's a chemically toxic mix. I could say some other stuff like it allows unsafe sex and blah, blah, blah, but basically it's the poor man's X (or E for you East Coast guys). Seems that James may be just looking for that cheap high and trying to justify it here for all you kids. Oh and a final thing...it tastes like shit. No way around that. Your turn, porn dude...and why not consider raising your hourly rate so you can afford better party chems?
Ummm, did anyone stop to think that maybe it's just a joke pic? Get off your high horses, he does have a friggin sense of humor! JEEEZZ.
I got a good laugh out of it!
Three things:
1) There is no 'e' in Jug
2) While James does have a
sense of humor, he also
loves GHB
3) He is provoking a response,
like a kid who purposely
shows you something gross.
Get over it.
....low life drug addict.... "Erik Rhodes" has ceased to be attractive.
Can't say (or tell from his original pic and follow-up comment) if Erik/James is joking, but definately CAN tell that some of his readers ARE taking him (and GHB) seriously. Hence my info. Take it, leave it, I honestly don't care, just don't drop dead out of ignorance.
Truckproductions: steroids can be shot in your arm but if you knew anything about the drugs they normally get shot in your ass. I also assume you think they are taken intravenuosly, which is so wrong, it just proves you are judging something you do not understand.
Steroids are not a miracle drug. Its not as easy as shooting up steroid and automatically looking amazing. They body is a science which take a long time to fully understand and master. Yes steroid is a great boost but they are not the only thing needed in order to achieve a great look.
Anyways, fuck you, and read a little more before making bullshit judgements.
Muscle dad: I have tried all other drugs and they, to me are also like poisening your body. I've lost 20 pounds after a crystal binge. Like i said i put to much time into my body to poisen it. Call G cheap all you want but to pick up once Oz when you dont know how to make it or a good bulk dealer, goes for 70-100 bucks here in nyc, and and anywhere form 30- 50 in LA so please. Not cheap if you dont have the right connections.
_______________________________
Oh and i'm noit sure why i posted the pic, i think cuz that goddamnb big jug o' ghb has been the olny thing to put a smiloe on my face in a couple days, i thought i would share it with you guys.
I know there is no E in jug, i just spelled it with 2 GG
Hey, at least there's SOMETHING in your life right now that will make you smile. Hopefully at some point you'll be able to leave the GHB behind and enjoy yourself without it. Until then, enjoy it while you need it and be as safe as you can be with it.
That has to be the funniest shit I've seen today.
You are so wrong (in a good way).
Also, It's funny that someone has "If you can't take a joke get the fuck out my house" and then lectures you about your use of GHB.
Also, I've tried GHB because I was told it used to be sold as renutrient to help sleep (which is when your body repairs itself and builds muscle). I have to admit, I looked pretty damn good after having just done it the once.
PS-To everyone who is going to tell what an ass I am, I'm looking at it from the sense of humor standpoint. I mean seriously, you have to admit it's pretty damn funny.
yeah...addiction----heee-larious
Riverock, profound stuff, made sense 2me think it will for erik rhodes aswell.
so let me get this straight.. the only issue u had with my message was how you take ur steroids? man u have got ur priorities way outta whack.. if anyone needs to dig a little deeper it's u. WHY AREN'T YOU TAKING SOME REAL STEPS AT CHANGING AND GETTING YOURSELF SOME REAL HELP.. CALL A COUNSELING CENTER TODAY.. U can't beat this on ur own. u will continue to self destruct and whine and complain on here looking for others to give u reassurance that ur ok.. it's just another addiction.. attention is like a drug. U are wuss for not getting into long term therapy and working out ur issues. Ur scared and a baby. Grow up. GET HELP. seriously, it's not meant as a cut on u. U need someone with more understanding of how the brain, feelings, and life work..
dude when they called you the Britney Spears of gay porn they were so wrong ... cuz shes getting better. i love you but get HELP!
<3
This blog has a recurring theme:
Should I do drugs or stay sober?
Should I be co-dependent on my ex-bf or move on?
Should I keep doing porn or get out of it?
Basically, should I hurt myself or heal myself?
Wow, if only I had such easy choices to make in my life! I totally envy your situations (but not how you handle them).
James, every time I begin to think there is something slightly redeeming about you, you go and post something like that picture and just prove again what an asshole you are.
We get it -- you hate yourself. It's tough. But maybe if you stopped doing shitty things like taking pride in the fact that you're a drug addict, you'd hate yourself a little less.
Truck Productions said it best: Grow up.
P.S. The word is spelled "poison." It's a word you should be all too familiar with.
You're a Falcon exclusive porn star who escorts on Rentboy while using drugs like steroids and GHB. And you wonder why you're unhappy?
I think it would be hot if you would do a bareback gangbang video like Dawson of Treasure Island Media.
http://videoshomo.over-blog.fr/120-categorie-10208089.html
"You know everyone has their certain level of bullshit they never tell anyone. Your friends, your Bf, your family members, they all have a dark side. But they all sleep fine at night cause they do their best at keeping whatever their perversion or dirty little secret, basically just that, by keeping it a secret." - This is good, keep going with this thought. Expose the hypocrisy. I like it, this is the first time I responded to what you say and relate to you as a human being. Rather then this over sexed porn star. Seriously, keep going with it.
Erik, you mentioned that you can't seem to function socially without additional chemical help, can you explain this to me? My ex boyfriend was in the adult enterntainment industry and also an extremely attractive body builder(would turn heads everywhere we went). What I never could understand with him is he also felt he could not socially interact without the need for his drug of choice. He could never really explain himself to me and i think i could never really understand him which made him feel even more isolated. Also I was almost the exact opposite to him so could not really put myself in his position.
P.S. (I was with him for 15 codependant years but was hardest thing in my life to break up with him so i disagree with the reader who said all your choices are so easy)
everyone needs to chill the fuck out. GHB was originally used to be a muscle stimulant/relaxer for body builders. Then some people thought it would be great to get high off of or slip in someones drink and rape them.
Now for all the posters judging. Damn what is wrong with you people? Give advice when it's asked for people. This is a BLOG he's just giving a piece of his life for you guys to see. He didn't ask for a fucking group therapy session. And even if you did give some advice, do you honestly think he'd take it? I don't think he's as gullible as to believe what some self righteous prick behind a computer screen thinks about him. You're not his friends, you're not his family, you're not even the guy who he bought that GHB from. Stop fucking judging...period
Hi Eric
I have question for u regarding GHB. I am interested in using the GHB as 1 of my muscle supplement... I want to gain more weight and lean muscle..i am 5'11...162 lbs, work out 3-5 x a week....
I read that GHB good for sleep apnea and muscle relaxer.....
Well i don't eat a lot (3-4 times a day w/ xtra egg protein shake..btw i am lactose intolerant0.
So my question where can i get the legal GHB? Can i ask my primary doctor (PCP)to prescribe it to me?
I'll appreciate ur answer...Thank you
Roy
Wrong, adrenaline199.
Erik/James isn't just a guy with a blog. He's a porn star. And a pretty major one, at that.
In our community, that qualifies as a celebrity, i.e. someone people admire and look up to. (One may argue whether that's a good thing or not, but regardless, that's the reality.)
And while I admire his bravery in opening up his life to the public and chronicling his struggles with drugs, porn, relationships, etc., there's a line crossed when he holds up a giant bottle of GHB and essentially proclaims, "This is good."
What if instead of GHB he had held up a bag of crystal? True, crystal is a more pernicious drug than G, and it destroys far more lives.
But the fact is, people have died from G. It is a wildly unpredictable drug that requires serious disipline to use properly -- something most urban gay men in the circuit milieu utterly lack.
It is therefore irresponsible for him to promote the use of G.
Moreover, it's a betrayal of himself and his own stated commitment to cleaning up his act. That to me is the biggest disappointment.
Rudy: Ghb will not really make you gain weight. I would suggest first changing your diet, EAT LIKE A HORSE, eat to gain. 6 meals a day, and make sure to get 1gram of protien per 1 pound of body weight a day. Mix in with the primary body building supplements, BCAAS, creatine, glutamine, NO, fish oil, vitamin C blh blah blah and see what happens.
A doctor will not prescribe ghb, i have never even heard of medical grade GHB, its considered a controlled substance, its like asking your doctor to prescribe you cocaine.
Adam Sank: If your role model is a porn star you have more problems than me.
Well Said.
Adam Sank, if you honestly think of porn stars as celebrities than you got it worse than James. Porn stars help me get off when I need to, their services is not an art form nor is it considered to be in good taste. But it takes care of a primal urge. It's people like you who perpetuate the stereotype of Porn Stars as Celebrities.
Now onto this drug issue. First off, if you haven't noticed his humor from his blogs you would know it's just sarcasm and narcissism at it's finest. If anyone is dumb enough to see that picture and take GHB and OD from it, I say one less dumb fuck on this Earth.
"What if instead of GHB he had held up a bag of crystal? True, crystal is a more pernicious drug than G, and it destroys far more lives."
He didn't have Meth so stop assuming it's just as worse if he did. And if he did who cares? It's his life and ultimately his choice. He's not a kid folks, a grown man makes mistakes. Again I will say he never made this Blog to ask for advice. It's just a introspect into his life, which I find interesting and quite refreshing.
A fucking drug addict fails many times, they will always be a recovering addict. They will fall off the wagon, but instead of pushing them off and not letting them back on. Try accepting there flaws and let them try again. He could have easily kept this to himself, but being candid about his issues gives him more balls than anyone of you negative posters.
He never made himself to be the spokesperson for a drug free America, stop treating him like one.
The only reason I read James blogs is because I can relate to his issues, and he has great musical taste.
agree with adrenaline199, hes got great musical taste..
all i got to say is do what makes u happy. if that bottle puts a smile on your face then enjoy it. its your body you should be free to put what you want in it. if ppl judge you for what you do to urself then thats their problem...
"I am but a man
But a proud, proud man
Silver bells that line the way
Through baited trails.
We’ll find you there"
mind you - there are many porn actors who are perfectly functional in their personal lives.
Whats missing from yours eric?
Hey Erik - I stumbled across your blog completely by accident today. I've never even heard of you or seen any of your movies. I live in Manchester in the UK and was lucky enough to 'marry' (or more accurately become a civil partner to) my long term boyfriend of over 17 years on 21st Dec 2005(thank you Tony Blair!) All I know of you is from reading your blog, and reading them makes me think that you sound like a remarkable young man and it would be something to know you in life, to know your heart and your mind. I believe in random acts of kindness so I wanted to post this message to you and to say that you bring the poem 'If' by Rudyard Kipling to my mind. Kipling was very proud that his son went off to World War I despite having very bad eyesight. He died in the trenches and Kipling never forgave himself. Maybe the fact that I'm older than you (43 in fact) makes me understand a little of what Kipling meant and what you undoubtedly have the potential to do. Look after yourself and take care - Jamiex
'If' by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
OK...gonna weigh in again. Gay porn guys ARE gay celebs. Hence why they make public appearances and draw "crowds" to bar nights, IML, Folsom, pool parties, etc...and are the subject of numerous other blogs. And also why, in part, Erik/James is apparently having problems finding regular guys to relate with when he goes out and about...whether to the gym or a bar. Many gay men put them on pedestals. Adrendaline199 if you don't view porn guys this way, well I think that's healthy and good. And like you, I just use porn and the guys in them to take care of those primal urges. But trust me, others look up to those like Erik/James beyond just being a way to get cum from their nuts into their hands. Is it "right", no. Does it exist and should Erik/James realize this and show some responsibility before posting a "humorous" pic of him kissing a bottle of GHB? Probably so.
And I don't think anyone other than Erik/James truly knows his motivation for this blog or any of his postings...and that assumes that even he does. I do happen to believe that he is looking, in part, for therapy of a type...whether it's affirmation or condemnation of his acts or just further ego-stroking that people give a shit what he's thinking...he's looking for a reaction. My partner, btw, just thinks he posts to get customers. Another, more cynical, viewpoint for sure, but that's why, in part, I love him.
that thing is almost as big as my new black dong dildo
Dear Train-wreck,
Gay guys who are into drugs and partying are the losers of our tribe. Ok, maybe they can get away with it in their twenties, I guess it's forgivable. But come on, you are totally going to turn into one of those aging drug addled Hiv pos 40 something that look 50, who EVERYONE shuns. Gross. Like those treasure island dudes.
****************************
****************************
Who wants to take bets that this guy ends up in sleazy bareback porn with the next 3-5 years?
When does your contract end skank hole? You'll be taking loads from tweaked out 50 year olds who look like beaten down dogs in no time yet! Worse yet, maybe you'll be the pig eating the frozen cum sickle. barf
*****************************
*****************************
PS:
I hope you are taking these comments as a wake up call. You're seriously going to turn into a total looser, and it looks like you are already dangerously close.
Why not just stop whining like a little bitch, stop doing drugs, get into another career, spend some money on a psychologist, MOVE out of NYC, and get your fucking shit together. The drama is bullshit, and only helps you avoid taking responsibility for your actions and future. It's a lot easier doing what you are doing......it is weak. Do something that takes some effort and may be hard. It really is the only way you are going to get out of this place you are in. The longer you stay there, the more work it is going to take to climb out. Stop digging and get out of your hole (he he) asshat.
Erik, don't defend yourself to all these people. Do what you do and live your life. I think you seem cool and just as fucked up as everyone else. Just live man.
I agree. Whether or not you believe it James, you're a celebrity. Weird, I know, but maybe you can use it to help others. Sure, porn helps us get off, but if people can't tell the difference between what they see on screen and real life, they really probably shouldn't be watching it to begin with.
And igbee, a wake up call would probably involve some sort of self evident, objective truth. They don't involve calling someone a
skank hole. Just sayin'.
I just found this blog thing recently. I'm impressed by your honesty. I just hope that you outgrow the drug and steroid thing. You're overexposed in the Falcon videos and I'm sure you don't have that much more time left before they're going to start promoting someone else. Better start thinking about the future. Its coming whether you're ready for it or not. Good luck.
Hey, guy. I've always admired you. I'm actually a little surprised at some of the sad/negative things I'm reading in your blog. From everything I've seen of your personality, you're one hell of an awesome guy. Your life seems to be so very interesting, if a bit torturing at times.
Hey, I was reading a bit earlier in your post about guys telling you "you're so hot" and bullshit. I'm going to sound cocky, but yes, I can relate. When you get told you are hot so many times, it just becomes like blah blah bullshit. Yes, you KNOW that you are hot. You don't need people to tell you that. And if they do, you really wish they'd come up with something halfway original. Or something to make you laugh.
Hot guys are also unapproachable. At least, by the people you want to approach you. The guys who you want to approach you never do. Part of it is just being good looking. Sure, part of it is being a porn star (and these are the examples that stick in your mind).
(Myself, I kind of put up a shield as being unapproachable. Which works from keeping most of the trolls away, but at the same time, I'm a bit on the shy side, and usually just can't approach strangers and chat things up.)
Some people are afraid to approach you for fear of looking so obvious to you (and to others). (Why would he want to talk to ME when he can get any guy he wants?) "He'll know that I'm just talking to him because I want in his pants." Being a good looking guy makes it harder to be friends with (in the gay world, anyhow).
I'm not sure I'm all that great on advice for you. Move to somewhere different where you can get away and somewhat start anew? Wear a t-shirt that says in big letters, "Comes over and talk to me. I'm actually kinda friendly"? I don't know you well enough to say, but part of what would seem to be the ideal solution would be to face a little bit of rejection and just strike out and talk to others that you'd wish would talk to you. (For me, that's tough, I'll admit.)
Seriously, dude. You're full of win and awesome. You just need to strike out and do something a little different.
Also: sorry that Gawker is giving you such a hard time. I always liked reading some of the Gawker Media Network blogs, but I never though of it from the perspective of the person being talked about.
Cheers, dude. PS: Stay awesome.
I never said you were MY role model, you big dumb horse. What I actually wrote was as follows:
"In our community, that qualifies as a celebrity, i.e. someone people admire and look up to. (One may argue whether that's a good thing or not, but regardless, that's the reality.)"
Muscled Dad is apparently the only commentator intelligent enough to get my point.
Of course you're a celebrity. Why ele would so many people be reading your blog? Why would you be guest-hosting radio shows on Sirius? Why would Gawker be reporting on your whereabouts?
As for me, I don't look up to porn stars. Nor do I look down on them. It's a job, and if you enjoy doing it (which you apprently do not), more power to you.
But I do look down on guys in their mid-20s who act like reckless, obnoxious children and then encourage others to follow their example.
Pathetic.
Pathetic they way you cry about wanting someone in your life but you really only want drugs.
Pathetic that you write this crap here for all to see and then cry about the comments.
I have a friend that tells me every time he drinks a beer that he is an alcoholic. I say no, now you're just pathetic.
Once you recognize you have a problem you are self aware. You then do it intentionally. You do have control.
If you use your addictions as an excuse for your behavior then you are just pathetic.
I did drugs when I was a kid. I have grown up and beyond.
I have all the problems you do but I am stronger than you because I have the strength to deal with life.
You wonder why no one comes up to you or wants to be with you its because you are pathetic.
If this photo was a joke then great but quit trying to be "cool" by posting a pic like this.
Can't be said enough grown up.
What if your brother needed you to be strong for him? Could you do it? You know he can't depend on you the way you are now.
Just get it together! you are too old and life does suck for everyone. Either deal or drink the whole bottle and hope you never wake.
I am sure your family would be proud.
adam sank: yes my comment was addressing what you said, but the comment was meant for everyone. Your so smart, you couldnt figure that out?
Xplodinb0y: your mom is going to get mad if she knew you were wasting time reading my blog instead of doing your homework. Stop being a little bastard.
So, here's a question for 'ya. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?
Hi Eric
Thanks for your answer man. I really aprreciate it.I have been trying to eat more meals with some multvitamin now...and working out too...
Btw, Damnnn!!!! some of u guys are so HARSHHH here.
Have a good day ya'lll
spare me and an hero
Hi Mr Rhodes...I've been a big fan of yours for a while now and can honestly say how sad I am to read more in depth about you and your life and career. Although I feel guilty since I put more stock into personal conversation versus comptuer reading, I can't help but feel sorry for the hurt you go through at times. I guess that's the romantic side of me...or...years of going through the same thing myself. I'm SURE you heard it before, but live life to its fullest. Enjoy the sex you have, the conversations you experience and company you keep around you; it only comes but once. There may be a lot of self-centered assholes in the bunch, but there will always be us few romantics to ease the pain. I'll be thinking of you and throwing nothing but happy thoughts your way. Hopefully we'll get to chat more....in the meantime, smile....lord knows ya got a nice one to show off! Take care, handsome!
james james james. you are a hooker yourself. you are a sociopath. you manipulate people so they feel sorry for you and think...oh this roid head want to make me feel like a lady...hes a fucking fisting bottom fyi---unless youre paying him...and then you try to ruin them......and usually do......james wants to be seen and noticed....just ignore this toxic peice of shit. you are a sociopath. from the moment you told me you get hard ons when someone cries in front of you. or when you were fucked on fire island bareback by 16 people on crystal meth. are someone who admitted to having anal sex with over 1,500 people by the age of 24.. you are in fact inhuman and not in a cool death metal trent reznor way. stay away from this fucked up loser and look up the term "sociopath" you will know all you need to know about this SOCIOPATH- james / erik..it all comes out in the end james.....all of it
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