Just checking in...
So my life has been pretty boring lately. Its all just same shit new day. But i'm happy. I haven't even had my typical ups and downs and crazy mood swings. I've just been pretty mellow. No self abusive behavior. No drugs. Just James, the gym and alot of bad TV.
I think i've finally come to terms with being single and not needing someone else in my life just to get by. Granted i have met someone special, but i refuse to force anything. Just take it at all face value to avoid jealousies and all that other bullshit i dont need in my life. The best comment i've heard lately is "The only person that will never leave you is you" and that what i'm gonna live by. I need to be happy with who i am before i can be happy with someone else. But to be honest, i am pretty content with who i'm becoming.
A am thrilled that as each day goes by that the end of my porn career creeps closer. I'm questioning what is going to come next but i'm not scared. I'm actually pretty excited. The thought of having a real, steady life, is sounding better and better. I'm gonna accept it with open arms. I'm not impressed with the work that i have done so far, i'm sure in time i will be.
I guess thats all for now. Sorry i been so boring.
Shit worth listeing to...
36 comments:
James, This is the MOST WONDERFUL entry in your blog I have never read!!!
BORING? on the contrary it is VERY INTERESTING, since for the first time you seem to have survived without DRUGS, getting drunk, smashing anybody face.... in some way being James and not Erik RHodes. IF you were my son I would declere to the world that I am proud of you.
A big hug, kiddo, Bruno
James is sounding alls growsed up! Good on you man!!!
I guess life must seem boring given the crazy ass shit storm you've been rolling through, but you will be amazed at what fills the void in your life the drama and drugs leaves.
Fearlessness and joy about what the future holds means that you are open to possibility and that is definately a very good place to be....
How was the show!!!!!????
iabe
I am so with jq2002, James! This isn't boring, it's fantastic! You sound healthy, happy, stable (more stable than me anyways :P)! You should be really and truly proud of yourself!!
James, you've done a great job putting things back together and you're definitely on the right track. Boring is several steps ahead of anger, fear or despair. I know my own life has gotten easier when I've been able to stop trying to fix the way things are right now and appreciate my life as best I can while imagining the possibilities of what is to come. You've come a long way already and you have a great ride ahead of you!
Hi James -
Forget 'boring'! This is the best post you could have made!
For what it's worth, I'm very happy for you. You are arriving in a much better place, and you deserve it. Enjoy every minute of it, man - you've earned it!
Stay strong, and have a fantastic day, week, month, etc.,...!
Boring is good, as long as you're not upset or depressed, boring is good.
Wish you all the best.
jq2002 said...
April 30, 2008 8:36 AM
I second that!!!
Three cheers for ya James!
James,
Saw Fleet Week. You might not like the career you were in but it surely didn't show on video. I don't just think of you as a piece of meat either. That's not the reason I'm telling you this. Be proud of what you did. Be proud of who you are. You've nothing to be ashamed of. Good luck in whatever you choose to do. Don't let anyone bring you down. Stay off the stuff. PLEASE. PLEASE. You're too young to die.
I can't believe you like Atmosphere.
When you get lemons, do you paint them gold?
And I'm kind of shocked that you're gay and like to fight.
WEIRD!!!
Getting out of the porn industry will probably be just the breath of fresh air that you need.
Keep on keeping on!
I'm glad to hear you're getting some normalcy in your life. You're a good guy and you should happy with who you are. If you're not happy with you are, you'll never be happy with anyone else, as perfect as they might seem. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.
I think it's healthy for you to post on here. I know it's the internet and all and there's some pretty bad advice out there, but you seem to be taking the good stuff under advisement and working things out.
I'm proud of you too.
I once had a very stupid friend who made the most amazing observation to me one day. He said, 'if someone had told him that the hardest part of growing up would be dealing with the boredom, he wouldn't have bothered'. For someone blessed with the insight of a mollusk, this was an epiphany of biblical proportions. I still agree with him.
Jealousies and dramas are a juvenile waste of time. As much as life has dealt me some lousy cards, I still think that every day is an adventure to be explored; a new challenge each an every day. The fact that you now face 'life after porn' with excitement is such a positive step. It's a whole new world out there James and it's time for you to conquer each new challenge. That's pretty exciting stuff.
And you know we all hope it works out for you.
ed.
ps. what happened at the concert?
No News or Boring life is actually a good news for you.
Keep it up James.
Where you sexually abused as a child?
dodger dredd: I've never seen a porn movie with Erik Rhodes, but I'm sure he did a good job. Just as Paul Ruebens did a great Pee Wee Herman, James is probably good in the Erik role. It's all cool. And James, I'm glad you're doing well. Sometimes "boring" is okay to indulge in.
I can see u are in the way!! u have insparation and u know how to writte that.. congratulations..kisses ans hugs from Dominican Republic.
Ok so I guess I'm offically one of your blog lackies now, lmao.
I just wanted to say hey... I'm glad to hear that things are going well. I hope they stay that way. If you anything you know I'm here, k.
Oh, after reading all your blogs and shit I decided I needed to make some changes too and I picked up The Secret too... I hope it works.
xoxo
ejames
BTW, Erik Rhodes is cool, but I think "boring" James is 10x better =P
James, what can I tell you. It seems that you have everything in your life under control right know which is great. And to tell you the truth dude I must agree with jq2002 this is your BEST blog EVER! Seriously, no bullshit all of your recent blogs have been the best! And BORING? Not at all dude this keeps getting better and better. I am glad that you have started to find who you really are and that your not the pornstar Erik Rhodes no more. That your something better than the drugs and alcohol. Congrats, on your new begginig.
You friend,
Erik Rodriguez
I'll cut the inspirational talk and say congrats. :-) Sounds like you've found your groove.
You aren't boring...you're a little annoying.
WHo is this James?
I'm sorry to tell you this, but you should enjoy the "new love", because you'll probably end up treating James the way you did Danny.
Why don't porn stars fuck fat guys? I'd like to see some chubby chasing guys who look like you.
glad you're happy. so what bad tv do you like? real housewives of nyc is a personal fave. that and work out.
Glad to see this post. Phew...it seems like you are having some clarity come back in your life. The dust is settling. Enjoy.
Bad TV for me consists of alot of reality TV. I never thought i would be a reality show watcher but i'm hooked to shows like Americas Next Top Model, Ultimate Fighter, and when Project Runway was on that to. I also can't help watching Cops. Nothing like seeing people with lives worse than yours and then douche bag cops who like to help them make there lives alittle worse. I always thought i would end up on cops someday, i guess i'm still young. LOL.
Hey and to anyone else that read this feel free to ask me anything. If i get enough questions i'll answer all them in my next blog.
Please be considerate of your fellow members at David Barton and break down your weights when you're done. Thanks.
god ur pathetic. u will never change on ur own. get some long term therpy man. these so called "ups and downs" that your supposedly not having anymore.. read your last 4 posts.. ur still having them. you can't just say ur happy and gonna be happy. u don't know how b/c ur messed up inside. get help. and GROW UP and stop being such a self hating fag
jock 227 the only pathetic thing is that you unfortunately belong to the human race, you are such a bitch! you should get treatment. and if you are so jealous of James just stick your tongue where it belongs up your assm maybe you wil lget some attention.
Sorry if I intruded in your blog , james but such vermine make my blood boil.
Anyway keep watching bad TV, taking care of yourself, and when you feel like add a chapter to this blog....
Have a good weekend, kiddo,
Bruno
jq2002 unlike u and ur sycophantic brainless morons on here, i'm not falling into mr. rhode's me me me trap. he is a mess. probably like u and the rest of the people on here that honestly think he is making these enormous changes in a day or two. ur anger over my honesty is only a reflection on the fact that u2 are probably a drug adled mess like erik rhodes or whatever he calls himself. a dose of reality is usually what sociopaths need to move forward. as long as there are people like u around to stroke his ego and tell him no matter what he's a good person, he will always be a toxic mess. like urself perhaps. the reality is too hard for him (and maybe you) to deal with. the truth is he doesn't want to stop drugs, addictions to sex, or porn. all these things have given him what he thinks he needs and what he's obviously lacking-attention. he'll complain on here forever as long as idiots like you continue to give him attention and flattery. the fact is he's not a good person. he's a scared and dark person who like many sociopaths are only concerned about their own feelings. prime example? this blog. What he needs is to be ignored until he hits rock bottom and is forced to become a full human being not a glossy shell with no center.
Sorry, james for having stirred such cesspool. the only thing to do is to pull the chain and flush the toilet.
Keep it up James,
changes don't happen over night and I think that is why old the strong survive.
Keep your head up, don't be looking at the dirt below.
G
i always look for the updates but please, please, please can you increase the font size!!!
hugs
nosher
eat a dick hard8, i treat that gym like gold. I'll do a better job when you tell the fags to stop dancing and distarcting me when i'm lifting heavy. bitch.
found this: a free NIN album
http://dl.nin.com/theslip/signup
I still have questions about your top/bottom preferences, Erik!
I thought you have described yourself as a bottom who is "only good at getting fucked in the ass."
Yet you describe this new guy you're dating, who makes you happy and smiley, as a "muscle twink bottom."
What preferred position? What does it depend on? Are you genuinely versatile and simply cast in porn flicks as a bottom more often because you're good at it?
Do you top the new guy you're seeing, and would you say you're getting your maximum pleasure by topping him?
I understand if you feel the answers are none of our business. And I don't expect people to be 100% Bottom or Top.
I'm just always curious how different people get pleasure differently from gay sex.
Just finished April... My Birthday month... I even skipped the gym tonight so I could catch up... LOL... Obsess much? Anyway...
It's interesting reading your blog from the beginning... I hope one day you will as well... Just to see where you've been, how far you've come, and to help steady the path of where you are going... What a change in you, focus, clarity... Some of my questions were even answered... Thats awesome... I hope you are proud of the man you are becoming... You should be...
Love from Atlanta
I started reading UR blogs from the beginning of this year, and although some are very compelling...I must admit, this is the one that showed a real-spirit!
I love UR crass honesty, UR unapologetic crassness....but this one post is inspiring!
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